Every Child NEEDS to Be Special to Someone

This is a "Case Example" of how our lives are changed when we are view as "Special" to someone, and are seen and loved as an individual.

I was able to go back to Shepherd's Field Children's Village (SFCV)outside Beijing in Lungfang, Tianjin, for a 10 day visit to assess the needs of Noel, the now 7 year old child with Cerebral Palsy, whom I fell in love with back in January. This time, our team was consisted of Mary from our January's Team JAMES, Julia, one of my spiritual daughters, who is the Administrator of Pastoral Ministries at our church, Queens Christian Alliance Church, plus Xian, who is a physical therapist from my former church, Christian Testimony, and yours truly.

While SFCV looks and functions as a higher caliber of caring staff and resources than other orphanages in China, I realized that it still is very much in need of a lot more person-power, staff, funds and even as simple as, finances to provide all the children with adequate nutrition. Speaking with the two oldest teenage girls, we found out that they only get wet rice with salted vegetables for dinner. The girls claimed, "We're older, we don't need protein every meal like the younger kids do." Meanwhile, the younger children's staple consists of rice with sauce, chopped up meat and vegetable of some kind (I assume to stretch the meat and vegetables). Our team treated the school-aged children to two meals on this trip where there were a variety of dishes served, and these kids went "hog-wild" with the food and had to be reminded by staff to "stop (over)eating" so they don't get sick, as they don't have the privilege of having "so much" food on a regular basis...

Part of the lack of person-power was really negatively effecting the more physically handicapped children, like my Noel. Since Noel only has one functioning right hand (at about 85% capacity), she can't get to the visitors fast enough, and since she doesn't speak, she can't make sound intelligible enough to get any attention from adults. What I found was that she was a "Wall-flower," scooting out of the way of the surge other children in her house would swamp the visitors, and ending up helping her peers with their Legos (by handing Lego blocks to others) since more physically adapt and stronger kids regularly grabbed the Lego blocks Noel had gotten her hands on.

It was amazing to see the dramatic improvements Noel made from the one week's worth of one-on-one time I spent with her:

QUICK LEARNER: Noel picked up everything I taught or showed her IMMEDIATELY! She was such a quick learner that I thought for a minute, that, "Maybe she isn't handicapped at all and had been 'playing' the handicapped!" I've never seen anyone pick up on any task or new skill at such lightning speed!

SITTING UPRIGHT: Noel, along with other children who have poor core muscle strength, would sit "W" instead of sitting properly on the floor ~ Cross-legged. I found out on the fourth day of my visit that Noel could actually sit cross-legged, but she'd lose her balance and fall backwards when she tried. By the 10th day of my visit, she sat cross-legged throughout the 15-20 minute American Sign Language lesson I gave her class, without falling back once.

USING THE LEFT NON-FUNCTIONING HAND: Noel only used her right hand, while her left arm was always sticking out from her side, and her hand in a closed fist. When I started to take her out of her class daily (starting the fourth day on my visit), she was immediately able to follow my lead and use her BOTH hands, grasping a Sippy Cup (with two handles), to learn to feed herself water.

EAGER TO BECOME INDEPENDENT: Our teammate, Mary's, husband, Jose, had given Mary her birthday present by taking the two older classes to Beijing Wild life Park on the third day of our visit. During that visit, I had the privilege of being Noel's one-on-one chaperon, when I found that she not only had to be fed food, Noel also needed to be fed water, as she didn't seem to have enough oral muscle strength to close her mouth and swallow water properly from a water bottle. Using the Sippy cup, Noel quickly learned to grasp the handle with both hands, take a sip, swallow, stop to take a short break, and to repeat drinking water on her own. Also, with Xian's help, we gave her a spoon for her to feed herself dinner, and boy, was she eager to feed herself. As a matter of fact, Noel took on every new task and opportunity to learn and become more independent, with fierce concentration and determination!

PICKING UP AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE (ASL): It appeared that Noel's extent of communication with others was the staff asking her a question, and she's to raise her right hand if the answer is a, "Yes." Noel had learned ASL alphabet with her classmates prior to my visit. I taught some basic American Sign Language to her so she can better communicate with others. Noel used whatever I taught her right away, including asking for "More," - using BOTH hands! She had a tough time learning the sign for "water," as she had a hard time signing the "W" alphabet (her fingers weren't limber enough to do that sign) on the field trip, but by the sixth day, she was able to sign "water!" I gave her ASL name as an "N" that traced a smile from one side of her cheek to the other, to indicate how she enjoyed laughing all the time.

SITTING UPRIGHT WITH BENT LEGS IN A CHAIR: Noel was always placed on the floor mat at home and in school, instead of sitting in a chair, as staff didn't think she had the core strength to sit in a chair. Partly might be due to their over-protectiveness ("Not wanting to tire her out," one Nanny said), partly, I wondered if it's just easier on staff not to have someone to monitor and make sure she didn't fall/slide off the chair due to them being short-handed (up to 7 Nannies for 20+ children in each house). So Noel is even fed her meals on the floor and not in a chair like the rest of her peers. I saw her teacher put her in a chair on the fourth day, but Noel's legs would stick out, not being able to bend on a 90 degree angle that the rest of us would, when seated. During my one-on-one times with Noel, I had her sit in a chair, in front of a children's table, and as she got involved in the activities at hand, she sat up STRAIGHT, with BENT/90 degree angle legs!

IMPROVEMENTS ON GROSS MOTOR SKILLS: Noel and I played with various toys that helped her to improve her gross motor skills. Games such as "Fishing," "Whack a Mole," Finger Painting, or what she enjoyed doing every time we were together ~ opening and closing of marker pen caps (she learned to use her left hand to hold on to the marker, while using her right hand to pull open, and close, the cap). Noel enjoyed learning each new skill through play.

OBSERVATION: I found that this little "Wall Flower" was waiting to be paid attention to, in order to blossom. Just with the short amount of time I had the privilege of spending with her, one-on-one, Noel BLOSSOMED with so much laughter, gusto for living and for learning. And did she ever improve!

CONCLUSION: This brings me to what I, and most people who work with people, already know: We all need to be special to someone. When we are special to that one person, our hearts and souls well are buoyed, our self-confidence grow, and we can "Go out and conquer the world" - at least, to accomplish what God has "prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10)~ the ability/gifting/talents God has placed in each of us "before the foundation of the world was set."